Jan 8, 2010

Breaking with the past

Judy, I am trying very hard to get rid of hoarded paperwork.  I threw out my memoir s describing my first marriage and the reasons behind the break-up - only to find my children when older wanted them and I was forced to re-live the bad memories all over again, when I could simply have handed them the memoirs.  Since then, I am afraid of throwing out old letters, diaries etc., in case I should need them again.  At the same time I realise that some of the info I have kept may cause embarrassment or hurt when I pass away and my family  goes through them.  What on earth can I do to break with the past?  Valerie, LA

Valerie, I can understand your feelings.  Here's what you do.  Next time when you are in the mood for tidying up (don't try this when you are tired or feeling negative about life) go through those docs one page at a time.  Decide what could be hurtful and score it out with a black marker if you want to retain the rest of that page for any reason.  Scan that page/letter/note to disc and tear up the paper.  Very soon you will have all your closets, drawers and other storage places free of clutter.  Not only that, you will be releasing all the negative memories.  Someday you may find yourself going through that scanned info and wondering why on earth you would want to keep it - the joy then being - just press the delete button!  Let me know how things go!







Hi Judy, my name is Helen and I am a 36 year old woman trying to cope with letting go of a painful past.  My brother was killed several years ago and my parents are deceased.  I have held on to most of their clothing amongst other things.  I am soon to be married and I would like to know from you how I can make it easier to let go of these items.


Helen, you have realized your need to let go of your loved ones belongings, which shows that you are actually ready to deal with this matter and you may find it easier than you imagined it would be when your grief was still raw.  I know of people who have had quilts made up in memory of their loved ones, using pieces of their clothing.  You might like to do that.  Other items could perhaps be framed as mementos.  Once you have done this, you will feel that you have honored their memory and you should be able to pass the rest on to a charity shop to help others.  All the best.



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