Parental Approval/Disapproval

First time I have ever written and asked for advice from an "agony aunt".  My mother is driving me round the bend.  She can't stand my girlfriend and goes out of her way to be rude to her when I am around.  Don't have a clue what to do about it - Jason, Texas

Hi Jason ~ mothers can be difficult when their sons start dating.  They have to view their son in a totally new perspective and some never get over this and continue making their son's female choices pay for it.  This could be the case with your Mom, in which case you need to speak to her and reassure her that your love for this girl does not affect your mother-son relationship with her.  Alternately, it could be that your mother has picked up on her intuition that something is amiss with this girl - perhaps she is overtly flirtatious or your mother has picked up on something and feels this girl is wrong for you.  In either scenario, you will have to sit down and have a chat with your mother and communicate.  This means being non-confrontational, calm and listening.  Then give your views.  If you find you become hot under the collar - postpone giving your view on the matter until you are calm.  Good luck!

Help!  My father cannot bear ANY guy that comes into my life.  He could be a med student or a ragamuffin - my father will despise him.  Am I going to remain a "Daddy's Girl" all my life trying to please my father?  Please help me out here!  - Veronique, Atlanta.

Fathers are naturally very protective over their daughters, so be assured that your father is in the majority.  You do not say how old you are, so he could be uptight about the fact that he feels you are too young to date at all.  If that is not the case, then he could be disapproving as he feels that none of these young men are good enough for his daughter and he does not want to lose you to any of them.  It's going to take communication between the two of you.  Go to coffee with your father and have a heart-to-heart chat.  Remember to listen very carefully to what he says and ask him to be just as attentive to you in turn.  Remind him that you will always love him as your father, no matter who comes in or out of your life.  Parents need reminding sometimes.